A colonoscopy? What a dream come true that would be! I’d been putting it off. The Nurse at my Dr’s office kept calling. Again and again. She was militant. Finally I relented. Ok, sign me up. I went with a Monday 11 am appt. That gave me Sunday to “prep”. Actually it starts days earlier. No nuts or seeds. Nothing purple, green or blue. No aspirin or advil.
On Sunday, I awoke to the situation of no food. No eating from the time I woke up Sunday, until after the procedure on Monday. That’s a long time. What can I have? Anything clear. 7up or broth. Chicken broth isn’t food. It’s what you make food out of. This will be a long day and night. Tomorrow will be especially hard with no breakfast. Total time without eating? 45 hours (from my last meal Saturday night until my first food after the procedure).
At 3 pm I began drinking the gallon jug labeled “Ass Blaster 3000”. I had to drink 8 0z’s every 20 minutes, and drink 3/4 of it. As soon as I had drank the 3/4 of a gallon, it started. A ride on the porcelain bus. It seemed to be every 20 minutes. Ass blasting it was. Good thing I had a lot of things to read. Magazines, Newspapers, Books, I was prepared. I know some of you would grab your phone and go on twitter, facebook, instagram, whatever. All I can say to you is “Ick”. No phone on the toilet. The next morning I had to polish off the remaining 1/4 of the “juice”. Oh joy, more rides on the porcelain bus.
A good friend drove me down, and another picked me up. I checked in and it went pretty fast. Soon I was in my hospital gown lying on the gurney. I heard a familiar voice in the private partition next to me. It was a close family friend. I went over and we sat there in our gowns and cheered each other up. We’re telling everyone, we had a Groupon, 2 for 1! She was just as miserable as I was. My Dr came looking for me and found me with her. “Only Max Volume could meet a girl at his colonoscopy” he said with a laugh. It was time for us both to get stuck with the magic juice. When woke up and it was all over. I couldn’t wait to eat!
Colon cancers are easiest to prevent when detected early. That’s why this month is “Colon Cancer Awareness Month”. Sadly Colon and rectal cancers have surged dramatically among 20 and 30 year olds. No longer an old people thing, colonoscopies are being administered to people of all ages.
Is it something in the food chain? It took forever to get Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil out of food, and we knew it was bad. Preservatives are bad. Additives are bad. High Fructose Corn Syrup is poison, and it’s in everything. How long until we get it out of food? Your body can’t digest High Fructose Corn Syrup, it can only process it, like a drug. Lots of food comes in plastic. Lots of food gets microwaved in plastic. What’s going on in the food chain?
Afterwards my Dr went over his report with me. 2 polyps were removed. Some polyps are just growths of tissue and may not have any relation to cancer. Some polyps have a potential of turning cancerous. Either way I’m glad I had it done. But, it was awful prepping for. Nobody wants to sit on the toilet all night.
Eat well! Lots of fiber, fruits and vegetables. Ease up on the red meat. Brown rice, steamed vegetables, chicken or fish all mixed up in a bowl! If you want to go out and eat, try one of these local eateries where the food is fresh: Top 10 Underrated Restaurants In Reno